The Long Road Home

    Oscar Wilde said, "True friends stab you in the front."

      I'm excited to let everyone know that I'm alright. I've been struggling with clinical depression all my life, but these last few years have been exceptionally difficult. I'm fortunate to have some die hard friends that really get where I'm coming from, so I haven't been going at it alone. They know when to intervene, and when to throw down the gauntlet, to get me back on my feet.
     In fact, one in particular stands out as far as the gauntlet tossing goes, and everyone, including me has her to thank for my current clarity. I don't need to be coddled, I never wanted anyone's pity, and despite how I might sound, trying to work through my "roadblocks", and "brick walls" out loud, in conversation, this particular lady gets that sometimes, a slap in the face is what I need more than anything else. I guess you could call her my "Sam Jackson, in an eyepatch" .
     Every extraordinary person faces a moment where they lose faith in themselves or their abilities to overcome obstacles, because life just won't cooperate, and sometimes someone has to remind them, they don't have the luxury of sitting out the fight.
     "I don't want the next time I see you to be at your funeral, Nod"... That's about as brutal, and honest as it gets.
     That one sentence triggered a two year series of events that ultimately lead to me deciding, that I don't want the next time she sees me to be at my funeral, either...or ANYONE ELSE,  for that matter. I realized the danger of that happening was a little more real than I was willing to accept. That was when I decided to start fighting for MY place in the world again.
     The last six months have been just that; a fight, and I'm finally comfortable letting the outside world know that it's a fight I'm currently winning. So big ups to Angie, "Queen of the Damned" for kicking me in the balls right when I needed it.  (you're my Nick Fury, lady..), of course Mr. Spliff for untold hours sitting on suicide watch, and for everyone else who's been quietly pulling for me... thank you for your patience and understanding. You won't be disappointed in what's to come.
     I'm not comfortable in the outside world as of yet, but it's coming soon. I've still got some big stuff to work through internally, but REST ASSURED, I'm coming, and all the doubters, haters, losers, users, abusers, fakes, flakes, manipulators, posers, and emotional vampires...ARE ON BORROWED TIME.

 
      Anyone who really knows me, has heard me say "If you can just make it through the darkest part of the night, and see the sun start to rise, you know everything's going to be ok. Unfortunately.... I know that from experience, but because of that same experience, I also know... the sun in my world is about to break the horizon. Everyone at the Nocturnal is stoked to be back up and running. Stay tuned for previews and inside looks at my current, and upcoming projects.