Sneak Peek

     My latest series is entitled “A Good Long Look”... I’ve spent the last year pretty much focused completely on self repair, and it definitely manifested in my work...  I’d done self portraits before, but never visually scrutinized myself the way I do with other subjects... On a whim, I hammered out the first sketch in the study, and it really got the gears in my head turning, so I abandoned the study all together and just ran with it... They say artists are supposed to be able to find the beauty in all things... so I went looking in the one place I was certain none could be found, .....myself....   I’m happy to report... I was SORELY mistaken... As previously promised... here’s a peek at the first few in the series...

"Warmth"

 24x36 Oil on Canvas

Inspired by the light playing on my face, in the mirror in my bathroom, during multiple sunrises.

"Only"

 36x48 Oil on Canvas

I was in a really dark place when I painted this one... No... really, single low watt led bulb... the light sucked! 😜 

Fun fact for those of you who’ve paid attention over the years: The recurring dark eye, spiral eye format that often manifests in my work, comes from a childhood injury to my left eye resulting in scarring on my cornea... This is where the light sensitivity I’ve struggled with my entire life, originated... The Fibonacci curve  in place of the right eye, is representative of my functional eye being overwhelmed.

      We are currently putting together a show, targeted for late summer/ early fall, where all of my recent work will be available to view, and in most cases purchase... but If owning the original isn’t your thing, there will be numbered prints available at some point, as well, I’m sure.  I can’t guarantee I will be physically present for that event, but rest assured the rest of the space monkeys, here at The Nocturnal, are constantly applying loving pressure on me, every day to get out more...  mingle, and to get the collective back on social media... so who knows?... Keep checking in for updates.  

   


     In the meantime, I’d like to leave some food for thought... The world is bad, and getting worse every day. It would be easy to make it all too complex and chaotic to  get a comprehensive look at the issues facing  ALL OF US with any definitive clarity.... from politics and religion, to racial, and gender tolerance. At the end of the day it all boils down to something far simpler than internet news and twisted sound bites.. It’s just a bunch of assholes arguing with decent people on all sides of every argument... & we have to decide every day if we’re going to be one of the assholes, or exactly what they’re afraid of...
     Pick up a paint brush instead of a gun... Grab a pen instead of a sword... Climb a tree instead of a soapbox... Write a song instead of a manifesto, and most importantly, try to make an actual difference in someone’s life, instead of protesting for a concept you’ve been fed by biased news and social media.
      If you find yourself in a place where all the lights have gone out...you're not alone... If you lose hope, and you can't see a way out.. trust me...YOU AREN'T ALONE. Before you decide to hurt yourself, or worse, find someone that loves you, and TRUST THEM.  If you can't find anyone like that, leave a comment here and one of us... will find you. Don't give up. 

The Long Road Home

    Oscar Wilde said, "True friends stab you in the front."

      I'm excited to let everyone know that I'm alright. I've been struggling with clinical depression all my life, but these last few years have been exceptionally difficult. I'm fortunate to have some die hard friends that really get where I'm coming from, so I haven't been going at it alone. They know when to intervene, and when to throw down the gauntlet, to get me back on my feet.
     In fact, one in particular stands out as far as the gauntlet tossing goes, and everyone, including me has her to thank for my current clarity. I don't need to be coddled, I never wanted anyone's pity, and despite how I might sound, trying to work through my "roadblocks", and "brick walls" out loud, in conversation, this particular lady gets that sometimes, a slap in the face is what I need more than anything else. I guess you could call her my "Sam Jackson, in an eyepatch" .
     Every extraordinary person faces a moment where they lose faith in themselves or their abilities to overcome obstacles, because life just won't cooperate, and sometimes someone has to remind them, they don't have the luxury of sitting out the fight.
     "I don't want the next time I see you to be at your funeral, Nod"... That's about as brutal, and honest as it gets.
     That one sentence triggered a two year series of events that ultimately lead to me deciding, that I don't want the next time she sees me to be at my funeral, either...or ANYONE ELSE,  for that matter. I realized the danger of that happening was a little more real than I was willing to accept. That was when I decided to start fighting for MY place in the world again.
     The last six months have been just that; a fight, and I'm finally comfortable letting the outside world know that it's a fight I'm currently winning. So big ups to Angie, "Queen of the Damned" for kicking me in the balls right when I needed it.  (you're my Nick Fury, lady..), of course Mr. Spliff for untold hours sitting on suicide watch, and for everyone else who's been quietly pulling for me... thank you for your patience and understanding. You won't be disappointed in what's to come.
     I'm not comfortable in the outside world as of yet, but it's coming soon. I've still got some big stuff to work through internally, but REST ASSURED, I'm coming, and all the doubters, haters, losers, users, abusers, fakes, flakes, manipulators, posers, and emotional vampires...ARE ON BORROWED TIME.

 
      Anyone who really knows me, has heard me say "If you can just make it through the darkest part of the night, and see the sun start to rise, you know everything's going to be ok. Unfortunately.... I know that from experience, but because of that same experience, I also know... the sun in my world is about to break the horizon. Everyone at the Nocturnal is stoked to be back up and running. Stay tuned for previews and inside looks at my current, and upcoming projects.